The Styx Chyx Journey to New Mexico
Neon sunsets, green chile, and wide-open spaces. Deserts, mountains, rivers, and canyons. With all this to offer — and so much more — New Mexico’s title of the Land of Enchantment could not be more fitting, both for its physical beauty and for the creativity it inspires.
Before sharing updates from our time in New Mexico, I’d like to share The Styx Chyx genesis story.
The Styx Chyx friendship was founded in April 2019 in Chile, another beautiful place with striking landscapes and rich cultural heritage. Emily and I were on a four-month group trip via Remote Year, a company that organizes international trips for professionals who can work remotely. Just a week or two into our itinerary, we were chatting during a bus ride to go river rafting in Maipo. Emily asked where I was from. When I told her I was born and raised in the Bay Area, she asked, “Does your family still live there?” “My dad and my sister do,” I replied. “My mom died.” “I’m sorry,” she said. “My dad died. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to the physical form of someone you love.” She paused. “Dying, death, grief… it’s all such an interesting process, huh?” This small-talk-turned-deep exchange was the spark that ignited a friendship and inspired many continuing conversations through five countries, including the decision to co-found an organization dedicated to promoting open dialogue about death.
Fast forward six months from our initial meeting and we reunited in Mexico, this time as The Styx Chyx. We attended Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) events in Mexico City and, with the help of our friend and local guide, Oswaldo Flórez, captured footage to create two micro-documentaries. The first, titled Jasmine & Rochelle, tells the story of how a young woman’s return to Mexico brought her closer to her sister. Our second short film focuses on Día de Muertos and will be released soon!
When we said goodbye in Mexico, Emily and I made a plan to kickstart our organization with an online crowdfunding campaign on Giving Tuesday and then reconvene in northern New Mexico in January for a strategic planning retreat. Our research into the movers and shakers in the New Mexico death scene led us to Peter Callan and Gail Rubin, two people we are now proud to call friends.
Peter Callan is a certified paralegal and notary public who coaches people on end-of-life planning. He wrote the book Prepare to Die!!! And Other Stuff Nobody Told You to reach even more people, giving us a roadmap to help us live with integrity and die with dignity. Upon reading his book, Emily and I tracked him down, scheduled a call, and hung up knowing that the three of us were meant to work together. We co-hosted two book talks in New Mexico and hope to offer more in the future, as we believe it’s so important for people of all ages to plan what we can while we can.
Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®, is an author, speaker, and funeral planning expert based in Albuquerque. She also facilitates the local Death Cafe, an informal meet-up that takes place on the last Sunday of every month. Emily and I attended the Albuquerque Death Cafe and found ourselves surrounded by a welcoming group of strangers from various walks of life, gathered to openly discuss and ultimately confront our mortality. It was a group-guided discussion with no agenda, objectives, or theme. There were questions, stories, laughter, tears, and moments of silence. We were both energized by the variety of topics and quality of the conversations, and we encourage you to check out our death-positive events calendar to find a Death Cafe nearest you!
Our time in New Mexico was exactly what the doctor ordered. We learned from experts in the field, planned exciting new projects for our organization (think podcast! guest features! a human-interest story series!), and had a lot of fun along the way. Thank you, New Mexico. We will see you soon!
XO,
The Styx Chyx
